Locust Wings
by Holly of the Night
Summary: Flying can make you feel so free, so peaceful that it's a wonder why no other cat can do it. But take that away, and you plummet in a torrent of anger, regret and wish-fulfillment.


**Challenge for The Gone Angel's Tracker prompt**

* * *

It's not supposed to be this way.

Love is supposed to make you care for one another. To feel safe in the protective embrace of their arms.

So why did love do nothing but cause me pain and humiliation?

I peer over my shoulders, at the small, feathery stumps that protrude behind my spine. I wriggle them piteously.

It was him! My eyes flash I as I stare daggers through the border. That disgusting, handsome tom that did this to me. I curl my claws beneath the grass, pretending it's his pelt.

I suppose I should start from the beginning.

My name is Cinderberry. I'm RiverClan's Medicine Cat. What is a Medicine Cat doing spying and cursing oaths at a WindClan tom? Well, it started because of love. Yeah, that cliche concept you'd think enough Medicine Cats would have the brains to understand it only lead to trouble.

But I was too stupid, too young and thought the whole world could embrace my abnormality.

What was this abnormality? I had wings. Notice the "had?" Yup, I've got them no more. Just these pathetic stumps on my back. And it's all because of him! That stupid mongrel!

I should pause and reflect, I wasn't always this moody. And my wings, I don't know how else to explain it, but StarClan must have blessed me with these limbs. I never understood why. I have no special powers, no strong link to StarClan. I never did anything except the same thing every other Medicine Cat did.

So why me? Well, if it was for some big omen I had to prepare for, they're out of luck.

I sit up straighter as the wind whisper through my ears. Are you ready?

Yes. I flex my claws. I'm more then ready. I push myself through the tall grass and leap on the other side, smack in front of Boragetail. It would have been comical the way he leapt back in shock. If I wasn't so angry, that is.

"Cinderberry! What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk," I reply. I didn't expect my voice to sound so calm. Deep down I'm seething.

He watches suspiciously with that stupid look of his that always melts me "What for? Unless this is Medicine Cat business, you're not supposed to be here."

"What you did to me," I meow. It's a lot harder to keep my fur down. It's aching to release. "The lies you spread about us. You know I didn't seduce you. I don't have powers."

He eyes me cautiously. "I know, and I'm sorry, I really am. WindClan probably misheard what I said. But I need to go now." Boragetail backs away from me, as if afraid he'd catch something. "You take care-"

"You lying snake! It's because of you my wings are gone!"

"Cinderberry-"

"To save your own hide you told WindClan I hypnotized you, that I stole you from them to learn their secrets." I didn't realize I was stepping closer to him, way past my border.

"I'm warning you, stay away-"

I snap. "My wings are gone!" I shriek. "Do you realize how painful that is? Can't you get that through your thick head?! It's like losing my own paws! I sacrificed EVERYTHING for your love, and you toss it away like dirt! I can't even trust your Medicine Cat after what Windfur did to me."

I suddenly shudder, the lost memories overwhelming me. Boragetail had convinced not only WindClan, but my own Clan that my wings had a power that controlled him. The believe him.

Some muttered it didn't make sense for a cat to have wings in the first place, that they were possibly an omen. So it was decided my wings should be removed, for the good of the Clan. I couldn't believe it. These were the very cats I treated! Some whom I talked and coached during rough times, and they turned their backs on my when I needed them most.

But I was more astounded my own ex-lover would lie just to save himself. I avoided everyone entirely, flying and trying to hunt on my own. But I always stayed close to RiverClanClan. It was my home, it was everything I knew, and there was always that one friendly face that sympathized with me.

Then he came.

Wildfur, with his transparent sympathy and a vole between his paws. I didn't think anything of it. How could I know my own Medicine Cat companion would turn against me too? My starving stomach quieted the sirens that usually went off in my head. He seemed so polite, so gentle that when I awoke my wings felt wrong. I looked over her shoulder and saw green ferns plastered with herbs and cobwebs on stumps behind my back.

The rest was a blur of screams as my sanity slipped further and further from reality. I was just a mess for days, holed up in my Medicine Den, avoiding and refusing to treat anyone. It was only after Grassstar threatened to banish me I heaved myself from my dirty nest and continued my job half-heartedly.

"Our Clans told us to stay away," Boragetail meowed. The idiot is still trying to defend himself! "I-just stay away from here, I've got work to do."

"No!" I roar after his retreating back. "Stay right there! I am tired of you dodging me!"

The tom keeps walking.

"Boragetail, if you walk away from me I will kill you!"

He freezes.

"... what?"

"You heard me."

"You think you can kill me? You're a Medicine Cat!"

"If you turn your back on me one more time, you'd better hope you have the guts to kill me, because one of us will walk away."

For a long moment he stares uncertainly into my eyes. Then with a heavy sigh he sits in front of me again, a murderous look in his eyes. But I can see through him. He's afraid. And it feels good; good for someone to fear me, respect me, listen to me as I pour out my heart on the tom that took everything away from me.

In the end, I don't think I got through to him. But even as I watch him disappear over the hill, peace began to settle in my heart. I told him what I wanted, whatever he did afterwards was not my problem.

What's done is done.


End file.
